What is Intimacy/Sex Coaching? According to Patti Britton, a pioneer in the field:
Generally conducted with couples, but also individual sessions are available depending on a clients relationship to sex and intimacy.
“Sex coaching is a mix of these elements: Personalized sexuality information and education, redirective cognitive processes and mental reframing, emotional balancing, intuitive guidance, behavioral training, and resources and referrals.”
Through a systematic examination of the factors in a client’s life that have been blocking their access to arousal, and a supportive exploration of your unique turn-ons, clients can restore their sex drives. An intimacy coaches can help clients reconnect to bodes, self- esteem and desire.
Couples Intimacy Coaching
Do you want new ways to communicate your desires to your partner? Do you want more pleasure or better sex? A private coaching session might be for you. Sessions are available for individuals, couples, or other relationship configurations.
A coaching session with a partner is an opportunity to learn new ways to communicate, and new ways to touch. These sessions may be entirely talk based or may include time for you and your partner to practice what you’re learning.
Talk based sessions can include topics such as exploring new relationship styles (like non-monogamy or kink) or may explore sexual issues such as mismatched desire. Intimacy coaching can show you ways to communicate, so that both parties feel heard and understood.
Touch based sessions sessions typically take place in the clients own space or the coaches private space. A coach is a guide and an educator as you and your partner explore new ways to touch each other. These sessions can be profoundly transformative.
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Books and Articles
Surrogate Partner Therapy Bibliography
Abrams, P. (1979). The use of a “surrogate” partner in the treatment of single males with sexual dysfucntions. Unpublished masters thesis, Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco.
Aloni, R., Dangui, N., Ulman, UY. Lia, N. (1994). A model for Surrogate Therapy in a RehabilitationCenter. International Journal of Adolescent Medicine and Health 7(2), 141-151.
Aloni, R. R., & Heruite, R.J.(2009). Ethical issues concerning surrogate assisted sex therapy. Harefuah 149 (9). 615-9. 657, 656.
Apfelbaum, B. (1977). The myth of the surrogate. J of Sex Research, 13 (4), 238-249.
Apfelbaum, B. (1984). The ego-analytic approach to individual body-work sex therapy: Five case examples. Journal of Sex Research, 20 (1), 44-70.
Ben‐Zion, I., Rothschild, S., Chudakov, B., & Aloni, R. (2007). Surrogate versus couple therapy in vaginismus. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 4(3), 728-733.
Blanchard, V. (1997, Feb.) The IPSA Process of Working With Surrogate Partners. Course at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco.
Blanchard, V. (1998, August). Clients’ Relationship to Pornography. Paper presented at the World Conference on Pornography, California State University Northridge.
Blanchard, V. (1999). An interview with Vena Blanchard. http://www.sexuality.org/vena99.html
Blanchard, V. (2000, April). Understanding Erotic Inhibition. Paper presented at Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Western Region Conference, San Diego, California.
Blanchard, V. (2001, March). The Tapestry of Surrogate Partner Therapy. San Diego Therapist. San Diego Chapter of California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, San Diego, California.
Blanchard, V., & McCombs, M. (2001, April). Self Actualization in Surrogate Partner Therapy: Case Studies of Transformational Intimacy. Paper presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Western Region Conference, Costa Mesa, California.
Blanchard, V. (2001, May). Five Clinicians and a Client. Symposium on female sexual dysfunction presented at American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists Conference, San Francisco, California.
Blanchard, V. (2001, November). Intimacy-Focused Surrogate Partner Therapy. Paper presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Conference, San Diego, California.
Blanchard, V. (2002, May). Intimacy-Focused Surrogate Partner Therapy. Presentation at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists in Miami, Florida
Cole, M. (1977). The aetiology and treatment of sex disorders: The socio-sexual parameters of a male patient sample and the results of a programme using surrogate partner therapy. British Assoc. of Behavioural Psychology (B.A.B.P.) bulletin, 5 (1), January 1977, pp 2-3.
Cole, M. J. (1982). The use of surrogate sex partners in the treatment of sexual dysfunction. British Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9, 13-20.
Cole, M. (1986). Socio-sexual characteristics of men with sexual problems. Journal of Sexual and Marital Therapy, 1, 89-108.
Crenshaw T.L. (1985). The sexual aversion syndrome. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 11(4), 285-92.
Dannacher, L.A., (1986). Self-concept and sexual adjustment of female partner surrogates. Dissertation abstracts international, Vol 46 (11-B), May 1986, 4007-4008.
Dauw, D.C. (1988). Evaluating the effectiveness of the SECS surrogate-assisted sex therapy model. Journal of Sex Research 24, 269-275.
De Silva, Padmal, (1994). Psychological treatment of sexual problems. International Review of Psychiatry, Vol 6(2-3), 163-173.
Elias, M. (1977). Sex Surrogates: The Sensual Therapy. Human Behavior, 17-23.
Gilbert, S.D. (1975). The female sexual partner surrogate as an emerging member of the mental health team. Dissertation Abstracts International, vol. 36 (6-B) December 1975, pp. 3002-3003.
Gray, P.J (1986). Female sex surrogates: Their personal sexual behavior and attitudes. Unpublished doctoral dissertation. Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco, California.
Greene, S. (1977). Resisting the Pressure to become a surrogate: A case study. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 3(1), 40-49.
Hall, J.E., & Hare-Muston, R.T. (1983). Sanctions and the diversity of ethical complaints against psychologists. Questions regarding three contemporary ethical dilemmas: bartering, use of sexual surrogates, use of collection agencies. American Psychologist, 38 (6), 714-729.
Hallam-Jones, R. (2008). Sexual surrogate partner therapy. Sex and Relationship Therapy, 23(3), 280-281.
Hartman, W.E., & Fithian, M.A. (1974). Treatment of sexual dysfunction: A bio-psycho-social approach. Long Beach, California: Center for Marital and Sexual Studies,.
Jacobs, M., Thompson, L.A., & Truxau, P. (1975). The use of sexual surrogates in counseling. Counseling Psychologist, 5 (1), 73-76.
Johnston, D.R. (1978). Some current practices in sex therapy with surrogate partners. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles.
Kaplan, H.S. (1974). The New Sex Therapy. Active Treatment of Sexual Dysfunctions. New York: Brunner/Mazel and Quadrangle/The New York Times Book Co.
Kaplan H.S. (1988, April). Intimacy disorders and sexual panic states. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy,14(1), 3-12.
Kaplan H.S. (1988, October). Anxiety and sexual dysfunction. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 49(Suppl), 21-25
Kaplan H.S., Fyer A.J., & Novick A. (1982). The treatment of sexual phobias: the combined use of antipanic medication and sex therapy. J Sex Marital Therapy, 8(1),3-28.
Kaye, S. (2000). Surrogate Treatment: A case study of male clients and surrogacy coaching. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco).
Kilmann, P. R., Boland, J. P., Norton, S. P., Davidson, E., & Caid, C. (1986). Perspectives of sex therapy outcome: A survey of AASECT providers. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 12(2), 116-138.
Lawrence, M., & Blanchard, V. (2002, February). Issues in clinical sexology: Working with surrogate partners. W.B. Pomeroy Lecture Series, Institute for the Advanced study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco, California.
Len, M., & Fischer, J. (1978). Clinicians’ attitudes toward and use of four body contact or sexual techniques with clients. Journal of Sex Research, 14(1), 40-49.
Levine, S.B. (1977). Current problems in the diagnosis of psychological impotence. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 3 (3), 176-186.
LoPiccolo, J. , & LoPiccolo, L. (1978). Handbook of Sex Therapy, New York: Plenum Press
Malamuth, N., Wanderer, Z., Sayner, R., & Durrell, D. (1976). Utilization of surrogate partners: A survey of health professionals. J .of Adolescent Medicine and health, 7 (2), 141-151.
Malamuth, N., Wanderer, Z., Sayner, R. Durrell, D. (1976). Utilization of surrogate partners: A survey of health professionals. J. of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry. 7, 149-150.
Malin, M. H. (1986). Sexual behavior and attitudes in the priavete lives of male sex surrogates. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco.
Master, W.H., Johnson, V.E. (1970). Human Sexual Inadequacy. Boston: Little, Brown & Co.
Masters, W.H, Johnson, V.E., Kolody, R.C. (Eds) 1977. Ethical Issues in Sex Therapy and Research, Volume l. Boston: Little, Brown & Co.
Masters, W.H., Johnson, V.E., Kolody, R.C., Weems, S.M. (Eds) (1980). Ethical Issues in Sex Therapy and Research, Volume 2. Boston: Little, Brown & Co.
Noonan, R. (1984). Sex Surrogates: A clarification of the function. Masters Thesis. Published on sexquest.com
Noonan, R. (2003).Sex surrogates: The continuing controversy. International Encyclopedia of Sexuality Francour and Noonan (editors). http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ccies/us.php#surrogates
O’Brien, M. (1990). On seeing a sex surrogate. The Sun Magazine.
Pearlman P.T. (1986). Sexuality and the physically disabled: Beyond verbal therapy. In: Kothari, P. (ed.), Proceeding of the 7th World Congress of Sexology.New Delhi.
Poelzl, L. (2001). Bisexual issues in sex therapy: A bisexual surrogate partner relates her experiences from the field. Journal of Bisexuality, 1, 121-142. (also reprinted in Journal of Bisexuality, 11(4), 385-388.)
Reese, R. (1981). Group treatment of sexual dysfunction in gay men. Journal of Homosexuality Special Issue: Homosexuality and psychotherapy 7 (Winter-Spring), 113-129.
Reece, R. (1988). Special issues in the etiologies and treatments of sexual problems among gay men. Journal of homosexuality, 15(1-2), 43-57.
Reynolds, B. (1991). Psychological treatment of erectile dysfunction in men without partners: Outcome results and a new direction. J. of Sex and Marital Therapy Special Issue: The treatment of male erectile disorders, 17 (2), 136-146.
Reynolds, B., Blanchard, V. (1998). Integrating New Approaches to Anxiety, PTSD and Personality Disorders with Intimacy-focused Surrogate Partner Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction in Men Without Partners. Paper presented at the joint conference of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality and the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, Los Angeles.
Richardson JD (1991). Has surrogate therapy a place in treating sexual dysfunction? Med. J. of Austria, 1991 Nov 18;155(10):689-90.
Roberts, B.M. (1976, May). Sex is the least of it. Paper presented Conference on Professional and Legal Issues in the Use of Surrogate Partner in Sex Therapy, University of California, Los Angeles, California, May 21, 1976.
Roberts, B.M. (1977). The training and utilization of surrogates in sex therapy. Speech delivered at the Tenth National Sex Institute of AASECT — American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists April, 1977.
Roberts, B.M. (1978) Monograph I: Experiencing intimacy through expanded sexuality. Center for Social and Sensory Learning, Los Angeles.
Roberts, B.M. The Sexual Surrgoate. InnerSelf Website, http://innerself.com/content/relationships/sexuality/education/5161-the-sexual-surrogate.html most recently accessed December 20, 2012.
Roberts, B.M. (1981). The use of surrogate partners in sex therapy. In D. A. Brown & Chary (Eds.), Sexuality in America, 283-300. Anne Arbor: Greenfield Books.
Roberts, B. M. (1994). The Sex Surrogate. In Stubbs, K.R., Women of the light. California: Secret Garden Publishing.
Savage, L.E. (1983). Dimensions of sexual functions of surrogate partners in sex therapy. Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, International College, Los Angeles.
Savage, L.E. (1983, August) An emerging typology of the surrogate role. Paper presented at the 3rd Annual Conference of the International Professional Surrogates Association, Los Angeles.
Sexuality Today (1982). Survey: Majority support use of surrogates, but do no use them. Sexuality Today 6(6.)
Sommers, F.G. (1978). Treatment of male sexual dysfunction in a psychiatric practice integrating the sexual therapy practitioner. Paper presented at the 3rd International Congress of Sexology, Rome, Italy, October 25, 1978 and 59th Annual Meeting, Ontario Psychiatric Association Toronto, Ontario, Canada, January 27, 1979.
Sommers, F. (1978). Treatment of Male sexual Dysfunction in a Psychiatric Practice Integrating the Sexual Therapy Practitioner. Medical Sexology. Littleton, Mass.: PSG Publishing, 1978.
Sommers, F.G. (1980). Some considerations on the psychodynamics of the psychiatrist, patient and sexual therapy practitioner (surrogate) relationship in modern sex therapy. Presented at the 4th World Congress of Sexology, December 18, 1979, Mexico City and the 60th Annual Meeting, Ontario Psychiatric Association, January 27, 1980, Toronto.
Stravynski, A. (1986). Indirect behavioral treatment of erectile failure and premature ejaculation in a man without a partner. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 15, 355-361.
Stravynski, A., Greenbberg, D. (1990). The treatment of sexual dysfunction in single men. Journal of Sexual and Marital Therapy, 5 (2)
Stone, C. (1983). Medical Q &A: Sex surrogate: Vena Blanchard helps men regain their self-confidence. Us Magazine, August.
Williams, Martin H. (1978). Individual Sex Therapy. Handbook of Sex Therapy, LoPiccolo and LoPiccolo (Eds.), New York: Plenum Press.
Wolfe, L. (1978). The question of surrogates in sex therapy. Handbook of sex therapy, LoPiccolo and LoPiccolo (Eds.), New York: Plenum Press, 491-497.
Zilbergeld, B. (1975). Group treatment of sexual dysfunction in men without partners. J. of Sex & Marital Therapy 1(3), 204-214.
Zilbergeld, B. (1980). Alternative to Couples Counseling for Sex Problems: Group and Individual Treatment. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 6 (1).
Zilbergeld, B. (1992) The New Male Sexuality. Bantam Books, New York.
Zilbergeld, B. (1999). The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition. BantamBooks, New York.
Zilbergeld, B., Ellison, C. (1979). Social skills as an adjunct to sex therapy. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 5 (4), 340-358